Pink Blog

Can’t afford the $3300 price tag on a pink Vespa scooter? No problem! Pick up a wall decor version for just $637! It looks like a cake to us though. A tasty Vespa cake. Hmmm.

Your eyes do not deceive you, this is pink poop. You can have your very own half-inch pink poop for $4 plus shipping. Also known as lucky crap, lucky poo, lucky excrement, and golden lucky shit (apparently the gold kind is supposed to be extra-super-lucky, but I like the pink one better). For the golden poop, giant golden poop, poop in a little bottle, poop as a stamp with the characters for “good luck” on it, and other colors of poop, try here.

For when gravity isn’t enough.

This is, reportedly, the world’s only pink Segway. It was made to be a charity auction item and bidding was to start at $7500 (a basic Segway starts around $5100). I have no idea if it ever sold; it was to benefit the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, a research and support organization. (Obviously the Segway is pink as a breast cancer promotion.) Now, you are more than welcome to paint your own $5k Segway pink, but you won’t have the only pink Segway. That privilege belongs to whatever lucky person won this very special Human Transporter device.

In 2002, the Japanese company Takara released the Bow-Lingual. Reportedly, this device could tell you if your dog was happy, sad, frustrated, on-guard, assertive, or needy – all based on its bark. In 2003, the company followed up the Bowlingual’s success with the Meowlingual, designed to tell you how your cat was feeling. The product was never successful, though, and it was only ever released in Japan.

But you see, there are a few flaws inherent in this device. For one thing, most dogs say woof woof woof. Cats, however, have a much more broad vocabulary – meeeeeeow, mrrrowt, purrrrrrpurrrrr, mewr, mow, and so forth. Additionally, cats have a greater depth of feeling than the six emotions seen in dogs. They would have to write a translation mechanism that could interpret “if you touch my tail again, I’m going to claw your skin off your face” as well as one that could handle “I don’t CARE if it’s tomato soup, you opened a can and I want what’s in it!” So it’s really no surprise that the Meowlingual did not do very well. Besides, you had to get up close and have the cat meow into the little pink kitty device. And what feline would put up with THAT? The only thing your cat would ever say would be, “get that thing away from me!”

This is not a gun. It is a hair dryer. Yes, that’s right, a hair dryer. For only $35, you can get the Western Dryer from…Japan, of course. This is not a good idea, in my opinion. If you live anywhere but Japan, it has to get through customs, so you better hope the maker includes a pamphlet explaining how it works, or it’s going to get confiscated. If it reaches your house, you have to leave it there forever: any transportation security official will give you a really hard time for this. But hey, if you’ve always wanted the feeling of holding a gun to your head like you’re planning to commit suicide, this is the product for you.

Not to obsess too much over Torrid, but I want to point out that they’re on the breast cancer awareness month bandwagon. This cute little change purse will hold some coins plus maybe a chapstick, and not much else! It’s perfect for the aforementioned skull purseNational Breast Cancer Foundation. (And thanks to the math homework I’ve been doing recently, I can tell you that is $1.60 for each purse.)

And then there’s this zany item, also from Torrid. It kind of surprised me at first when I saw the thumbnail, because it says I ♥ BOOBS. Moments later, though, I figured out they they were talking about breast cancer – there’s a little pink ribbon on there, too. Unfortunately I’m not sure how popular this $5 rubber key cover will be…who do you know who uses key covers to personalize their keychain? I stick to actual keychains, myself. But still, this might make a good inexpensive gift for your favorite survivor! (And yep, another 20% goes to breast cancer research.)

Weirdest. Pink. Product. Ever. It’s a lung trainer for you to improve your lung capacity. According to Iron Girl, the Power Breathe device can restore your breathing power, thereby increasing your exercise tolerance and your sports performance. And by the way, when it says “Inspiratory Muscle Trainer,” they’re talking about your muscles that you use for inspiration and exhalation…not inspiring your muscles to do better. This is purely a functional product, not a motivational tool. If you are looking for motivation, though, check out the Iron Girl website. In addition to information about their women’s-only triathlons, they have tips on exercise, diet, and training.

I hate to say it, but it looks to me like this is a useless pink kit. I don’t know what possessed the pink toolbox people to come up with this, but it really doesn’t belong in a “kit” at all. The Pink PC Kit contains:

1. A mousepad
2. A wireless mouse (Bluetooth)
3. A USB receiver for the mouse

So it’s basically a wireless mouse. That’s about it. Oh, and a mousepad, which isn’t even necessary in the age of optical mice. And for this they want $36! I’d give this one a pass even if I had a desktop computer and could use a regular mouse.

It’s a, uh, chair. And you wear it. Not carry it around like those little combination cane/seat devices, you wear it. There are some distinct disadvantages to this, the least of which is that you look like a dork. According to the pictures, you can only sit on the floor with this. Of course if it’s a “chair” then that’s appropriate, but not everybody can get down on the floor comfortably. I’m not sure what you’d use this for, maybe gaming? I’m not sure where you’d buy it, either – the Wear Your Seat product page isn’t very enlightening.