Pink Blog

Nespresso Essenza. When only a $200 pink espresso machine will do.

This thing is adorable! The screen is only 10″ so it’s a tiny notebook. It packs 1GB of RAM and a 160GB hard drive, a built-in webcam, wifi with Bluetooth, comes with XP home (wipe it and install Linux imho), oh my god where do I sign up?! It’s $430 which seems pretty high when you consider the Eee PCs cost less and do more, but it’s so cute! It’s pink and it has a design and I need one!!

The Chococlock could be really cute if it didn’t border on offensive. Mostly what I’m thinking about is: why is this thing pink? Far be it from me to question a pink product…except when it’s only available in pink, and you don’t expect it to be a gendered product at all. Sure, the clock can be used by anyone, but the marketing decision involved when making it pink seems directly tied to the fact that it produces chocolate – little chocolate pellets, wrapped in pink foil, are included when you buy it. It opens the doors and ejects the chocolate every hour on the hour. What is the point of making this thing pink? Why isn’t it white or silver or black or green or anything else? I smell something funny.

So, about those slippers I mentioned previously…how about these? They’re by Brando, so you know there’s a USB component in them. In this case the slippers are heated by USB. When you’re sitting at your computer and need toasty toes, you can hook up to the USB port – this presumably works best if your computer is on the floor or otherwise near your feet. They also have a battery pack for when you’re not sitting in front of the computer, but given that the pair requires 6 AA batteries to operate, I recommend using them through USB most of the time…or invest in a good set of rechargeables. I assume it’s no accident that they look a bit like Uggs…not a fashion choice I would have made, but then again – who wears their slippers out and about, anyway? If you’re just wearing them in the house, plunk down your $29 and get these.

These are silly. I put them under “Footwear” because they’re really not cleaning supplies. (Not that I have a category for those, anyway.) The concept is that you’re supposed to walk around in these things, and they will clean up after you. Clever, but impractical. If you really want to do an effective job cleaning up crumbs, use a broom, otherwise you’re just going to push stuff around. If you want to polish your hardwood floors (these are chenille), use a cloth, otherwise you’re going to have to do a Powerslide-type dance. If you want to walk around and look doofy…well, okay, get them. They’re $10 at Amazon. But I think a nice pair of slippers would be a lot more comfortable, personally.

I’ve picked the most pink watch of the Baby-G line to share with you, and unfortunately it’s also the ugliest. This jelly watch is a glaring piece of plastic that tells the time, has five alarms, is a stopwatch, is water-resistant to 100 meters, and is “tough” according to Casio. It also has “Afterglow” for lighting, which I assume is like Indiglo, although I cannot actually find out what it is like – Illuminator is supposed to be Casio’s version of Indiglo (which is a Timex feature), so who knows what Afterglow is…maybe it’s that crappy little bulb type that doesn’t actually show anything. Although given that this thing is bright pink you’d really need something like Indiglo or Illuminator to see anything. Anyway…the scary thing about this watch is that Casio refers to its “gender” as female. I realize that it’s for women, but I don’t see how a watch can have a gender. At any rate, some of the other Baby-G watches are much nicer, like the oddly-named Sweet Poison, this one that doesn’t have a name, the BGA, and even the Square. But this one is just a ghastly feat of pink engineering.

This is the perfect phone for a little girl. I don’t normally say that pink is only for little girls, but in this case it’s appropriate – little girls do like pink, and this phone isn’t going to have the features that most people would like in their phone. The Alcatel OT-E227 Butterflies phone lacks a camera, music player, web browsing, or any other features we’ve come to expect from base-model cell phones today. It does have a phone book and accepts text messages, but that’s about as advanced as this puppy gets. It does not appear to be available in the United States at the present time.

I’m starting to find all the USB sticks just a little bit pointless. I have a perfectly good USB stick that I paid $20 for (over two years ago) and it has served me well. So why would I need yet another USB stick? There’s tons of them out there, including this Elecom Stylo stick, the only interesting feature of which is its capacity (up to 16GB) and the fact that it has a password lock. Other than that, there is nothing interesting about it – it’s not a humping dog, it’s not shaped like a hamburger, it’s not made by Swarovski. It’s just a dumb little USB stick. Why do we need these? Why?

What I like about this cute little flower fan is that it will look like a beautiful flower when running, and a slightly grotesque, all-plucked-out flower when standing still. It’s two looks in one! Unfortunately the damn thing is $20 and it takes two AA batteries. It must be popular, though, because it’s out of stock as of this writing.

I would live here, I really would, and I don’t think I’d grow tired of it. I do realize that the interior is also all-pink and all-HK, but I don’t think it really matters. I think I am comfortable enough with my love of Hello Kitty that I could live in this place on a daily basis. This place is reportedly located in Taiwan, but I can’t find anything about it – I don’t think it’s the Grand Hi-Lai Hotel, because their Hello Kitty House is “situated in the hotel lobby” – seems a bit different. That place has a totally awesome Hello Kitty suite though, I’d definitely like to stay there if I ever made it to Taiwan! So alas, I have no idea where this Hello Kitty House (and its green next-door neighbor) is located. If anybody knows, please pipe up!